The R4′08 staff was asked to gaze into their crystal balls and tell us what they saw in store for us in 2008. Their predictions are printed below…
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DaveG:

John McCain will make the comeback of the century (it’s still early in the century) and win the GOP nomination in a rout after finishing a strong third in Iowa, with over 20 percent of the vote, and winning New Hampshire, South Carolina, and Florida, dispatching Romney, Huckabee, and Rudy, respectively. The narrative coming out of the race will be that pundits should never, ever count out GOP frontrunners, even when their campaigns seem as good as dead, because ultimately, Republicans will come back to the guy whose “turn” it is every time.

McCain/Pawlenty will beat Hillary/Bayh by winning all of the red states, minus Arkansas, and by adding Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Oregon, and New Hampshire to the GOP column. The popular vote margin will be between 5 and 6 points.

On the day after the election, Hillary will file divorce proceedings against Bill.

President-Elect McCain will announce Joe Lieberman as his pick for SecDef, and will be advised by his longtime allies Kristol and Kagan. In response, the MSM will become even more blatantly anti-Semitic.

David Cameron will become the new PM of the UK, ousting Gordon Brown and bringing a new generation of Conservatives to power on the other side of the pond.

Andrew Sullivan will vote Republican in the general election. Pat Robertson won’t.

Democrats will pick up three Senate seats. Republicans will net one House seat.

After he loses the nomination, Hugh Hewitt will beg Mitt Romney to run third party. Mitt will instead go back into the private sector and make another million by the time the year is over. Dean Barnett will post a Q and A to weigh the pros and cons of taking Hugh out for a drink and allowing him to drown his sorrows.

John Derbyshire will say something wry and clever.

DaveG will post at least one YouTube clip from a sci-fi/fantasy film in order to illustrate an Important Point in one of his posts on Race42008.

LJ will be given a cushy White House job in the fledgling McCain Administration. He’ll frequently take his fellow R4′08 contributors in the area (cough, cough) out to lunch at pricey DC establishments. The taxpayers will foot the bill.

Michael Lawrence:

The nomination battle will be Romney vs. Everyone. Romney will lose. But, if Romney wins, he’ll ask Fred Thompson to be his VP. Fred Thompson will decline and return to TV.

John McCain will pull a surprisingly strong 3rd in Iowa. Thompson will consider dropping out after Iowa. If he hasn’t already dropped out, Thompson’s disappointing showing in South Carolina will knock him out.

The New England Patriots will not represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. Nevertheless, the AFC representative will win the big game. The halftime show will be slightly less awful than usual. No one will watch anyway.

Tired of being told by TV and evangelical pundits that everything they like is bad, America’s guilt nerve will renew its commitment to fast food, especially the Big Mac.

Chuck Norris will not fall into a tiger pit. Instead, that San Francisco zoo tiger will fall into a Chuck Norris pit.

Unless the race is between Obama and McCain, the Ron Paul movement will grow during the 2008 general election as voters become dissatisfied with the same old choices. Paul will have a Goldwater-esque influence on the Republican Party as the entitlement crisis become more acute in the 2010’s.

Duncan Hunter will go negative on Huckabee. Everyone in Iowa will ask, “who is Duncan Hunter?” Alan Keyes will remain completely insane.

William Reston:

Mitt Romney will become the Republican nominee and will lose to Hillary Clinton in the Electoral College by a 323 to 215 margin, with New Mexico, Colorado, Iowa, Ohio, Arkansas, Missouri, and Virginia switching from Red to Blue. Defying all conventional wisdom regarding her “ceiling”, Hillary wins the popular vote by over 2%.

Romney’s nomination results in the GOP losing six-senate seats instead of three (Virginia, Colorado, Minnesota, Oregon, New Mexico, and New Hampshire) and a push in the House where at least modest gains were expected.

Reacting to the nomination of a Republican candidate who starts even with the Democratic nominee in Red States like Kentucky, Tennessee, and Texas-many Republicans simply sit this one out; not due to any ideological contention, but due to a sense of hopelessness regarding Romney’s electoral prospects. By August of 2008, Romney is essentially a self-funded candidate, with his staff and volunteers at the state level exceed 5o% LDS in many areas, as they refuse to jump ship with the rest.

The blame for Hillary Clinton’s Presidency is also laid at the feet of the two biggest proponents of Mitt Romney in the conservative media-Hugh Hewitt and the National Review. Hugh Hewitt’s radio show will be off the air before the end Hillary’s first term (although Townhall will remain). The National Review, which already depends on donations to survive, will cease to publish a print edition within Hillary’s first four years as well.

President Hillary Rodham Clinton replaces retiring Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, John Paul Stevens and David Souter with liberal justices in their late 40’s within the first two years of her administration.

And, oh yeah…. The Dallas Cowboys will defeat the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII.

Tommy Oliver:

The Ron Paul ReVOLuTIOn will finally take over the airwaves, when he takes a job as the full time Sunday night replacement for Art Bell on Coast to Coast AM.

In December of 2008, Rudy Giuliani will still be campaigning in Florida for the GOP nomination, apparently forgetting that the Republican primary ended months earlier.

Duncan Hunter will build a fence.

Fred Thompson comes from behind to become the favorite, but sleeps through the convention, thus losing out on the nomination.

Al Gore finally defeats the republican nominee in the general election, only to find that both are beaten by the third party candidate.

The next President of the United States will be Zell Miller.

Brett Passmore:

John Edwards comes from a behind the curve victory and sweeps the Democratic nomination after most of the democratic voting bloc gets cold feet on electing a minority president.

Ron Paul and his massive grassroots campaign actually do get the voters to the polls and secures the libertarian nomination. Paul gets hammered by Edwards in the General after one of his campaign managers “accidentally” leaked out their plans to completely remove the preamble, bill of rights, and all the remaining amendments from the constitution, claiming the original document was perfect. After this defeat, the remnant Paulites form a separate union in a massive spread of land in Nevada purchased with the remaining campaign funds and declare their independence from the USA.

The price of oil surges to 200 a barrel after the Saudi King is assassinated while making his pilgrimage to Mecca. The country falls into chaos and the US is forced to tap the strategic reserve and expedite drilling in ANWR and the Atlantic coastal shelf. Venezuela continues to hemorrhage skilled workers to surrounding countries, so Hugo Chavez returns to the UN and signs an oil for labor agreement with the new president of the US to encourage a US labor pool in the foreign nation. US does not bomb Iran, in fact we help them to construct their 1st working nuclear reactor in exchange for Khomeini’s promise to abandon their weapons program.

John Edwards’ first order of business as president will be to secure the rights of illegal aliens living in the US to become citizens. A deluge of immigrants floods into the southern and surprisingly the northern border. ICE is overwhelmed by the applicants and is eventually dissolved and a replacement agency that is twice as large, and 3 times more expensive is created. The border fence is scrapped and Ramos and Compean spend their full term in jail. On a lighter note, Parris Hilton does not appear in the headlines all year. Neither does Lindsey Lohan.

LJ:

John McCain completes a stunning comeback to win the Republican nomination for President and selects Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty as his running mate. Hillary Clinton manages to fend off stiff challenges from Sen. Obama and former Sen. Edwards to win the Democratic nomination. She selects fellow senator Jim Webb as her running mate. McCain/Pawlenty win the hard fought general election by taking Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Oregon, despite losing Ohio.

The Democrats win 4 Senate seats: Virginia, Colorado, New Mexico and Alaska.

After losing the primaries to Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama begins preparations for a run as Illinois governor in 2010.

Iraq will remain relatively quiet, casualties will steadily decrease, and American troops will begin to be drawn down in the summer of 2008.

President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan will either be assassinated or overthrown in a coup.

There will at least 2 major political scandals involving Congress members from both parties that will be caught on Youtube.

Matt C.:

In a surprise move, Jack Bauer will singlehandedly capture and torture Osama bin Laden, leading to the dismantling of the entire al Qaeda network. This leads all the major GOP candidates to make a statement on the subject:

• John McCain- “This was a black mark on the United States because of the implementation of waterboarding in the interrogation process. Having al Qaeda in tact would be preferable to being a country that tortures terrorist masterminds.”
• Mitt Romney- “I saw Jack Bauer torture and kill Osama bin Laden; in that I mean I support, in general, the interrogation and death of terrorists across the world.”
• Fred Thompson will sleep through the press conference announcing the news and will be unavailable for comment.
• Rudy Giuliani: “I was in Pakistan just as much as Jack Bauer was, showing that I am the only man on the planet who can keep this country safe.”
• Mike Huckabee: “My advisors have forbidden me to make any statement on matters of foreign policy.”

American Gladiators will be the #1 show on television, surpassing American Idol as tons of 20- and 30-somethings (including myself) tune in to relive some great moments of their youth. A special Politicians Gladiators show will garner some of the highest rankings, as Americans watch Venom destroy Nancy Pelosi in the Joust.

Romney/DeMint will defeat Clinton/Bayh by an electoral vote of 274-264. Romney will lose OH, NM, AR, and VA but pick up NH, MI, WI, and an electoral vote from Maine.

After losing the GOP nod, despite numerous denails saying he wouldn’t, Ron Paul launches an independent bid for the White House. After realizing he does not have ballot access as an independent, he will switch his party affiliation once again and run on the Libertarian ticket. He will get slightly more votes than last time he ran.

BONUS Prediction: Results of the Iowa Caucus: Romney 41-44%, Huckabee: 25-29%, Thompson: 10-12%, McCain: 9-11%, Paul: 7-9%, Giuliani: 6-8%, Hunter: 1-2%.

Jason Bonham:

I accept a job with Sam Brownback’s Senate office in DC.

MyManMitt will become MyManRon.

Romney’s and Edward’s hair join together and create a Unity 08 ticket (not my joke, but I can’t remember where I heard it).

After losing McCain announces he will finish his term and not run again (real prediction).

Kavon gets bought out here for a million bucks and Race42008 becomes an entity of Oxford Press.

We finally get the answer of why so many of our “amateur” commentors at Race42008 have DC IP addresses.

Sampo becomes a county chair for Mitt. (real prediction).

Abe gets his long awaited Huck-a-bust (real prediction).

Fredstate becomes JohnState for the week between Iowa and New Hampshire, than becomes Rudystate till Feb 5th, then just sticks to Congressional stories until 2016.

We will find out Metro Republican lives on a farm in Oklahoma.

Mitt wins!!!! Everyone else eats CROOOWWWW!!!!! (certain prediction).

Aron Goldman:

January 21, 2008: After winning in Iowa and New Hampshire, man-of-the-world and presumptive Democratic nominee, Barack Hussein Obama, honors Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. by returning to his roots, saying he will help make Dr. King’s dream of a colorblind society come true by telling America that he is not black, and going forward (or at least through the general election) he wants to be called the name he’s known and who he’s been for the better part of his life…Barry.

February 1, 2008: The headlines read “US Fatalities in Iraq Fall to Single Digits in January”. Harry Reid demands an immediate, precipitous withdrawal, declaring: “This war is won.”

February 6, 2008: Mitt Romney, steaming after having blown over $20 million of his own money, vents by taking his 5 sons (sans a chunk of their inheritance) varmint hunting with Yosemite Sam. Mitt, despite being a lifelong hunter, tags his son Tagg with some buckshot. Romney claims to reporters that he saw his son standing nearby, but later clarifies that he only meant it in a figurative sense.

February 7, 2008: After failing to win over enough conservatives by running to the right, Mitt Romney makes the political calculation to lurch leftward by collaborating with Lurch, himself, creating a bipartisan line of Phenomenal Flip-Flops, to be sold exclusively in Filene’s Basement.

July 4, 2008: 7-Eleven endorses Republican nominee Rudy Giuliani for president. They show their solidarity with America’s Mayor by renaming their 7,000 convenience stores across the United States, 9-Eleven.

August 8, 2008: After learning he has not been selected as Giuliani’s running mate, former Pastor/Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee appears on the new game show, Are You Smarter Than a Chimpanzee?; only to be humiliated by his fellow knuckle-dragging primate. Afterwards, the creationist-believing Huckabee who believes ‘intelligent design’ should be taught in public school science classes, and refuses to accept he and his family came from apes, blames his defeat to a chimp on the intoxicating Jesus Juice he drank earlier in the Green Room.

October 26, 2008: On Hillary’s 61st birthday, just nine days before the presidential election, Bill pledges eternal faithfulness and devotion to his distraught wife, and cheers her up by buying her a lifetime supply of Botox.

November 4, 2008: Even a half-white Barry Obama can’t convince enough American voters to judge a man by the content of his character, and not the color of his skin. Despite all polls suggesting another 2000 ‘hanging chad’ election, the result is an anti-climactic landslide of Cardin-Steele proportions.

December 17, 2008: At a victory Christmas party, President-elect Giuliani and Vice President-elect Palin are seen celebrating together under the mistletoe…

Kavon W. Nikrad:

Mitt Romney wins Iowa, John McCain wins New Hampshire and Michigan, Romney wins Nevada, John McCain wins South Carolina, and Rudy Giuliani wins Florida.

The 2008 general election match-up is a contest between Giuliani/Huckabee, Clinton/Bayh, Bloomberg/Nunn, and Ron Paul/???. Paul and Bloomberg split the Indy Right and the Indy Left (and the lunatic fringe to boot). Hizzoner wins a comfortable 286-237-15 Electoral College victory (Bloomberg wins New Jersey).

After eight years in the White House, Social Conservatives are hard pressed to identify a single difference between the Bush and Giuliani Administrations.

The New England Patriots will defeat the Dallas Cowboys 38-21 in the Super Bowl. Randy Moss is named the game’s MVP.

Note: R4′08 readers are encouraged to share their own 2008 predictions in the comments.